Saturday, December 1, 2007

Haider's Beowulf Review

My bud Haider's stoned out Beowulf Review

This was written to me in an email and is presented un-edited

STOP press!!!...fuqing stop mushy, BB and n.sharif fighting amongst each other cuz beowulf 3d is here......and it has truly blown me away....bloody hell...suls if there's one thing u should do before u die its watch beowulf 3d at ur nearest IMAX cinema....
even though its been out since 2 weeks but i just saw it yesterday and it fuqing literally blew me away.....i never knew man had made so much progress in 3d films....fuqing awesome, mind-blowing literally blows u away.....this is dragon slaying taken to another level mate......god it was good...even though i had stoned my brains out before watching it....i was literally gasping alongwith the rest of the audience at the effects....they really were something....and the monsters....bloody hell i'll have to see again it again today....i still cant believe what i saw yeasterday night has literally blown me away....i wasnt prepared for it
and before u think i'm a big fan of such commercial, high -budget movies please bear in mind that i have worked for odeon cinemas for almost a year now and so far i have only watched 4 movies..thats 4 in a year and yes i am free to watch as many movies at any time as i want and can bring along 4 free guests per month....
this is '300' meets 'conan' meets ancient nordic legends directed by a fuqing new favourite movie of all times.....and the only and i mean the ONLY movie i have ever watched where the fuqing demon is actually scary...not some fuqing cartoon...but a real violent scary
freak...brilliant...5 stars...the new benchmark....
but then again a lot of my colleagues dont agree with me and say it was only average so maybe i really was stoned silly but still some parts are downright unbelievable and the dragon slaying bit ..mate i wasn't the only one ducking and diving all over the cinema...there was others as well...and some bits were downright embarrasing where i felt i was the only who literally jumped out of his seat at the chilling left me gasping for breath need i say more...
take ur wife and child out this weekend to ur nearest IMAX....i'm sure sheikh whatever bin whoever owns a fuqing IMAX near u as even India has got fuqing 3 or 4.....and no i havent seen 'chota chetan' which was the first ever bollywood 3d film but i'm sure it didnt have the budget or the expertise that was available to beowulf...magnificent
watch the trailer at:
and read the reviews...they're hilarious
but be warned...what u see is certainly not what u get in this case....this is a film specifically developed for the imax 3d system and watching it on a normal cinema screen or worse a pc will prompt u to say' "what the hell was he on about?"
so suls forget the fact that its got angelina jolie in it and just fuqing watch it...i guarantee u 110% it will leave u breathless....
man there's something here ...have u ever seen me praise a film so much???....i was even fuqing dreaming in 3d yesterday night and today before the cinema had even opened i was there to watch it again....its such a different experience.....and the scenery and the was just like a dream.........finally some imaginative cunt has set a story in a land far, far away where slaying monsters (or 'muns-therz' in the old saxon
accent) is the order of the day....and the accent is surely the best bit of the movie.....authentic 5 stars mate

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